My Journey

I am a survivor of Child and Adult Domestic Abuse. 

Even after walking away from an abusive relationship, I spent years living with the trauma without acknowledging it. I was deeply unhappy but could not admit it to myself, let alone anyone else.  

I studied and became a Social Worker. I went to work every day with a smile on my face focused on supporting the families I worked with. To the outside world, my life seemed great, but inside I was falling apart. 

I was wounded and too ashamed to work through my own pain, living life with no long-term plan. I was broke and although I had some good friends around me, I felt empty.  

I found love again - or so I thought - pregnant and abandoned, I miscarried. I went to work the next day like nothing had happened. 

I was devastated. But in an attempt to be strong I lifted my already jam-packed rug to sweep my loss under it but it wouldn’t fit. Faced with this reality I had no choice but to go to therapy.  

The day I decided I was worth more 

There are many layers to the process of healing. Therapy helped me understand my experiences but after it ended, I still felt lost and deflated.  I knew what my purpose was, but I still had things under the rug that held me captive.    

I realised I had work to do but first, I had to decide the work was worth doing; that I was worth it.   

There were days where I would just lay in bed staring at the TV, searching for answers in anything that flicked onto the screen; desperate for something to help me get out of this vicious cycle I was stuck in, but nothing came. 

I realised that the value I had placed on myself was rooted in my childhood experiences, and as the years went by, I experienced more and more adversity in an attempt to conceal that experience.  

I needed to create a new blueprint with the understanding that my childhood, being a victim of domestic abuse, baby loss and all the other things I had experienced were not my fault, while taking accountability for the mistakes I had made and accepting that only I could take the steps to improve my life.  

So, I did. 

We can access and activate our self-worth, but the process is complex because of the many layers of healing and heavy work involved in undoing the learning we have done throughout life.  

The journey was not easy. Many nights I cried and wanted to give up on life itself. I had no self-care and even now, sometimes I falter. 

I still have occasions where I am presented with something challenging and the urge is to slip back into my old ways.  

The difference? I have seen the brighter side of life. I know it can and will get better.  

Now, I won't allow it to happen. I immediately use the tools and strategies I’ve learned, nurturing, understanding and affirming who I am. I regularly check in with my EFT therapist for maintenance sessions because everything in life must be maintained, we can’t do it alone.   

So, don’t. 

Let me help you find your happiness.